For Once..

For once, since before she could remember, her confusion had subsided. A sense of knowing that what she felt was real and the satisfaction that came with it was enough to calm her and get her through the days.

What lay ahead still scared her as did the thought of how time would play her or how everything would unfold. But the constant presence of that tiny hope and the trust of finally letting it all go had never felt so good. For three years now the same thought and confusion had been spreading across her heart and mind like a disease. It ate away slowly, making her miserable and more alone than ever before, ruining every good memory she had of that time.

Acceptance had been her answer all along. Despite being so sure of it somewhere deep down in the dusty recesses of her mind, she had never before dared to speak the words aloud or even acknowledge them to herself let alone anyone else.

This was only the first step and it had taken years of tears, hurt and a broken trust but it had also made her appreciate everything all the more. For now, she was content to know that her feelings were real and that her destiny would take her where she belonged..

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nadia nawaz

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Shattered, he lay bleeding

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He thrived for acceptance, reading into every little gesture or action, replaying it over and over in his head till he had dissected every aspect of it and completely transformed it into something beyond recognition. But still he lacked satisfaction.

Thriving to compete, wanting nothing more than to be taken and treasured, he spent his days and nights obsessing.Soon his obsession began to define him. Slowly but surely moulding him into someone completely devoid of life. He was like  an empty shell so very hollow from within.
His one goal in life had become a crucial part of whom he had become and so in a bid to make himself wanted, he began to lose the very thing his life had once balanced upon-his uniqueness and ability to find hope.
Standing at the very brink of indecisiveness, his life lay in the balance as he set his heart on the line once more.

Was this it? He often questioned himself. Yet with each question came rejection.  As he lay awake drowning in self despair and misery, his little remaining hope swayed and plummeted.

Like many others around him, he had allowed all hope to die.. Staring into his beautiful eyes once so full of life, all I saw was a lost defeated man so full of sorrow.

Nadia Nawaz