A forgotten February

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It had been almost five weeks since they had last met. 35 days to be exact, but who was counting. He had entered her life suddenly, and without warning. A time during which she was despondent at times, but mostly just going through the motions with not much concern about how each day seemed to blur into the next. He had been nothing out of the ordinary. She had glanced at him once and looked away, making nothing of it. Their conversation lasted five minutes at most. He had been well versed, sweet yet polite, but he was the kind of person who didn’t really leave a lasting impression. The second conversation had been different. He had been charming, and she noticed the way his eyes creased so noticeably in the corners whenever he smiled. He smiled a lot, and she couldn’t help but smile with him. It was his kind eyes that she remembered most.

Maybe meeting him has just been another little reminder. A beautifully tragic moment of happiness shared with a stranger who lived oceans apart. Bringing back to life the dreamer in her she had so casually cast away.

Nadia Nawaz

Within the realm of dreams

Forces loyal to Syria's President Bashar Assad hold their weapon as they stand near a tank in Tel Hasel, Aleppo province after capturing it from rebels November 15, 2013. Photo by Reuters

Forces loyal to Syria’s President Bashar Assad hold their weapon as they stand near a tank in Tel Hasel, Aleppo province after capturing it from rebels November 15, 2013. Photo by Reuters

Mideast Syria

Damascus-26 December 2013

Removed, far beyond the reach of human touch or contact she lay dying. Her chest heaved with the sigh of her laboured breathing, while her body remained motionless in the pile of rubble surrounding her. The pain was continuous and unlike any she had ever endured before. Her breath came in short gasps as she willed herself to keep going.She knew her end was near, it would not be long now before her body would bleed out..
Her thoughts were filled with the memorable sound of laughter, the chatter of her big family and the crazy amount of noise that had always accompanied them. All of them had been scattered like dust, leaving behind nothing..

Cautiously at first but then readily, her mind wandered to him. A sigh escaped her lips as she recalled the touch of his arm securely around her shoulders. The sound of his powerful voice as he had whispered jokes in her ear. How she had blushed a bright red with the swell of happiness erupting inside her. That sense of contentment and relief, it felt so reassuring. The feelings so vivid, that none of the chaos caused by the war had been able to erase him from her memory.

But for the present she had come to accept the inevitable. A harsh reality had come to rudely interrupt her perfect life when the fighting within her home land had begun.

She had watched so powerless as the war had taken over, not only her county but the very essence of all she was, her family that completed her and the beauty of nature surrounding her, leaving chaos and destruction, rubble and human remains.

So she had chosen to continue living in the only way she knew how, in the little bubble of her thoughts,  in the fragment of her imagination and in the remembrance of her past.

The beautiful memories formed her realm of dreams and it is here where peace prevailed and all was right with the world. Her last breath escaped her and with these thoughts she set off to the next world, beyond the grasp of all ugliness..

Damascus- One of the most beautiful cities of the world, so full of life before the war

Damascus- One of the most beautiful cities of the world, so full of life before the war

Afterword: Her story, like many others I have written previously, is in relation to the wars waging around the world.She is a twenty-one year old just like me who once had a life full of hope and happiness, viciously taken from her.

Relating this is but a fickle attempt to raise awareness of the plight of children of war. The situation in Gaza (Palestine) and Syria (as well as all other countries under siege) is shocking, brutal and inhumane..The true accounts of captives there and their suffering are enough to reduce grown men to tears.

These are people just like us who have no say in what is happening to their home, innocent children with big dreams now lying dead in the streets of Aleppo and Damascus never to see those dreams through. All I ask of you wherever you are in the world is to keep these people in your prayers.

Even if you are unable to help financially, simply raising awareness about the situation is the least we can do. I have always believed that no matter how small, even the tiniest bit of effort can help make a difference.
Please keep them in your thoughts tonight. While we will be safe and warm in our blankets, there will be many just like us who will be freezing to death just across the ocean through no fault of their own.

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Please click the link below to view a short but sweet clip highlighting the third anniversary of the war in Syria on March 15, 2014.  Benskey, the famous graffiti artist has created the paintings in the video in response to the bloodshed :

#withsyria

nadia nawaz

Towards the end

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The morning suns rays filter through the blinds creating little circles of light on the bedroom floor. Somewhere in the room a person stirs, yawning away the last signs of sleepiness ready to face the new day. The sun  envelops the room in a golden glow, promising a comforting warmth. Like many things in life it is but a mere deception in the sky artfully concealing the cold winds which rage on around it. To the insider, warm and secure within their home the cold is merely another glitch in the weather,duly noted upon leaving the house.

A couple of thousand miles away, across the ocean a new dawn creeps through. Desolation and misery haunt the place and despite the clear skies, moans and whispers of grief choke the surroundings. War and terror are just the norm around here,tearing apart families and wrecking havoc. The same new day here, brings with it more reminders of the pain left to endure until night fall. Planning a future is a story of the past.

The contrast is striking between the two countries yet the seconds that tick by are identical. They share the same skies, the same moon, the same sun. Yet they live and die worlds apart from one another somehow all nearing the same end through different means..

nadia nawaz

A moment in time..

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In the darkest hour of the night he lay awake staring into the silence that enveloped him. His thoughts carried him to a place far away as his ears became accustomed to the sound of his rhythmic breathing. For him life was at a stand still, a moment in time where he lay captive. As the days dragged on and the seconds ticked by, he remained a constant in the whirl wind of activities that surrounded him. No matter how hard he tried or what he busied himself in, his mind somehow always found her.

Her… He closed his eyes as once again the very thought of her took his mind through a dizzying blur of entwining memories. Overtime she had consumed him becoming a non-detachable part of his soul making him acutely aware of his own deficiencies, as he bettered himself in a bid to win her.
As the days melted into weeks he all but drifted through, aware of the seasons as they came and went but no longer caring.

Consumed by these thoughts of her, he felt his eye lids become heavy with sleep as his dreams clouded his thoughts and he melted away into a place where they walked as one.

nadia nawaz

Dear Diary…

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As of today, two years, 2 months and 11 days…

There was a time when feelings floated along the surface, fading as quickly as the rain clouds vanished after a storm. Never lasting more than a few moments in time. Emotions were never so deeply embedded. Seconds were never given their due importance and time just swept along, mindlessly spent as the days drew to a close.

Over the years all that has changed as drastically as the seasons come and go. Memories are now so preciously stored, and life which once so precariously balanced on the edge is savoured and cherished.
Distance has taught the hardest lesson of all. Fondness for those who are absent has increased so out of proportion that words are often insufficient to explain the explosion of feelings experienced.
The value of people and the difference they make in your life, the way a person touches you from the inside making them so impossibly hard to let go of, and the very fragility of life are all emotions so anew and foreign.

But perhaps the hardest lesson of all is that of attachment. Of how an attachment can break you down, confuse you beyond belief and suck the very life out of you when mishandled. How the obsessive thoughts of one person or people can render you incompetent. How your heart can become plagued by them, causing a deep-rooted dissatisfaction.
Above all, how dangerous an attachment can be. How hard it becomes to rid yourself of it and begin life all over.. For nothing can cause pain, like that of giving up a part of yourself you wanted to keep as yours alone forever.. but can undoubtedly never have.

nadia nawaz

Confined

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From the moment the words left his lips, she began to doubt him. With every fragment of her being and from the very core of her existence, she refused to believe that what he said could be real. But no matter how much she tried, she could not escape the unmistakable reflection of truth in his eyes.

His words all but brushed over her but the intense pull of his eyes continued to hold her captive.

They portrayed the essence of his feelings; the agony, the love, the yearning, the fear and above all his utter faith and trust in her.  They were the very mirrors to his soul.

Like magnets they pulled her towards them, unyielding and unwilling to let go. She saw a reflection of herself in their very midst, mockingly daring her to look away. With each second that ticked by she felt herself drawn in by his powerful gaze and somewhere deep down she finally acknowledged her helplessness…

nadia nawaz

Him and Her

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To her, he was a beautifully treasured memory carefully stored and revisited time and time again, added to and deleted from as days flew by. To him,she was just a thought at the back of his mind always there floating in the midst of the chaos which filled his head. Ever present yet somehow blanketed over by more pressing matters

She spent her days and nights revisiting the memories, smiling over them and cherishing them with all her heart wondering just how time would play her this time. He casually glided over her funny chatters on odd occasions, chiding himself for the sacred few smiles her recollection brought to his face on long lonesome summer nights.

Her days were filled with the buzz of the busy city and the warmth of his memories. The happiness she had thought so little of once upon a time and the confusion and ache of rushed goodbyes.His days were filled with the chatter and gossip of his mates, the work which got him through the hours, the gloom of slowly ticking seconds and emptiness of a soul which refused to take a leap of faith, too afraid to dare to dream.

Together they moved on in time, living their separate lives, thinking often but doing little, simply passing through the midst of all that surrounded them. In a world inhabited by millions they were simply HIM and HER..

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nadia nawaz