A moment in time..

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In the darkest hour of the night he lay awake staring into the silence that enveloped him. His thoughts carried him to a place far away as his ears became accustomed to the sound of his rhythmic breathing. For him life was at a stand still, a moment in time where he lay captive. As the days dragged on and the seconds ticked by, he remained a constant in the whirl wind of activities that surrounded him. No matter how hard he tried or what he busied himself in, his mind somehow always found her.

Her… He closed his eyes as once again the very thought of her took his mind through a dizzying blur of entwining memories. Overtime she had consumed him becoming a non-detachable part of his soul making him acutely aware of his own deficiencies, as he bettered himself in a bid to win her.
As the days melted into weeks he all but drifted through, aware of the seasons as they came and went but no longer caring.

Consumed by these thoughts of her, he felt his eye lids become heavy with sleep as his dreams clouded his thoughts and he melted away into a place where they walked as one.

nadia nawaz

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Daring to dream

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How she longed with every fragment of her tiny being, to be beyond the hopelessness and confusion of her down-trodden life, the misery and scorn of unfulfilled dreams and the hurt and loss of failure.

Her secret refuge  was where she found peace, a place where her mind took her and allowed her to glimpse a timeless paradise hidden behind a secluded doorway if only but for a moment. Where the joy and happiness which filled her heart would not come crashing down without a moment’s warning. Where pain and longing were feelings unheard of.

A place where her life was beyond the wickedness and evil which war brought with it. A sanctuary, where one could dare to dream and hope filled the air with its dazzling presence. Where young love was not  scorned and passion was allowed to run its due course. Where a mind and heart would not bleed away with the burden of all the pain chained up inside. Where the innocence of children would not be tainted by hideous sights of death and destruction. Where eyes would no longer weep for loss and pain but sparkle with merriment and wonder. Where each moment would be worth living and every creature would be thankful, brimming with contentment at last.A place where only dreams could come true!

nadia nawaz

Gateways to the soul

Kabul. Afghanistan © Nazir Ekhlass

Kabul. Afghanistan © Nazir Ekhlass

He kicked a stone in the centre of the path he was walking along, and watched silently as it clattered along the alleyway slowly coming to a stop. The sound of it echoed through the night and filled it with life, if only but for a moment.

His face, a plain emotionless mask was etched with layers of soot and filth. His feet bare. His once strong, lean body now weak and worn clothed in nothing but rags, withstanding the low temperature and chilly winds.

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No Longer Human

Robotic like movements are carried out in succession by tired, worn out limbs. Eyes so full of sadness seem to be drowning in their sorrow. The brown depths of their centre, brimming with tears unshed. Yet after one long look my way he seems to give up and continue his task, not looking up again until he knows for certain that I have glanced away. A construction worker, his young faced etched with grim lines, his hands hardened by the heat and toughness of his work. He carries on, day in and day out, unaware, detached and completely silent.

His silence makes me want to reach out to him, to learn his story, to share my own. But we remain caged in. Our individual walls, carefully constructed and resilient as ever, hold us back. Away from the world outside we proceed, in our solitude.

Often at times, we come across people whose eyes seem to tell a story. Their faces engraved with pain, stories from their past seem to be haunting them, yet they try to hide behind a shallow, cheerful mask with which they fool the masses day after day. If you try to search their eyes, you will see there, the hurt and sorrow which they try to otherwise, keep hidden.

Word's are meaningless, unable to explain the sorrow which these young eyes hold..

Word’s are meaningless, unable to explain the sorrow which these young eyes hold..

The human-such a lowly, insecure being. Unaware of each other’s plight we live each day, content within that little bubble of ours, so carefully constructed around us. Lost within the hollow hybrid of our own being we seem to crave the solitude of our own selves. Slowly, shutting out all that pains us. We seem so satisfied to gradually wither away, not feeling an ounce of suffering.  Not caring, not grieving, not giving. Alone, aloof and oblivious. Not letting other’s reach too far inside for fear of what they might find.

Yet we kid no one but ourselves. Deep down those demons and emotions, carefully concealed over time, are raging a battle. Wanting to let themselves loose and drown you in despair they eat away at you day after day. Your resilience slowly seems to be slipping away. With time, you no longer see the point of trying, and give in to fight. You give up-you lose!

Soon depression sets in. Bring on all the therapist of the world; no one is able to cure you, for only you hold the cure. The tincture for happiness lies within you, within us all.

Photo credits: Moaz Ali, Location:Pakistan

Photo credits: Moaz Ali, Location:Pakistan

Our lives lack the carefree happiness, and simple joy which people once had. Those little pleasures around which people’s lives once revolved, no longer mean much. We no longer care for minute little details, little emotion and gestures don’t touch us. We scoff at them, often finding them meaningless and useless. The reason: we aren’t satisfied. Our want for more and better has led us to a state of dissatisfaction, discontentment and frustration. Depression is becoming more common in younger people and it is no longer strange when we hear that our friends, as young as us have been in therapy. Isn’t this something we should question, rather than accept? Why are we so ready to give in to the fight? What happened to the human within us, the part which felt other’s pain and wanted to lend a helping hand? We no longer see the pain other’s might be going through. We choose to overlook, to remain unaware and remote.

Pathetic, unfeeling, insecure and afraid-A fickle, insignificant nobody in an evil, corrupt world is who we have become…

Moments past and words unspoken..

They say it’s a part of human nature, to always wonder about what could have been. To obsess over moments long past, and to never be satisfied with what is.
Each and every one of us craves that which we can’t have.


We tend to go over and re-construct past encounters in ways which satisfy and please us,often at times opposite to how the incident unfolded in the first place. That little voice inside our heads never ceases to quieten. Its relentless questions, and continuous re-playing of conversations forces us back into times which we no longer remember as they once were, often a result of all those emotions welling up inside us which tend to overcome the original memory. All rational thoughts are pushed aside as we sink deeper and deeper into the past, going through each recollection and wishing how things could have somehow been different.
Along with the memories comes the guilt and self-blame. We blame ourselves for not having enough for-sight about the matter, about not handling the situation well enough. Or maybe even being a bit too harsh. Add to that a never-ending terrain of questions and that’s when the doubt settles in.
With doubt comes dissatisfaction.How many of us have often spent sleepless nights obsessing over a moment long gone yet wondering how it would have been, had it somehow worked out differently.At the same time knowing with certainty that things always happen for the best.
Making peace with the past is often the hardest, yet best methods to gain contentment. It is a battle which is tough,nevertheless necessary, and once won can help bring about that inner peace each and every one of us lacks, yet craves so desperately…

Denial!

A few weekends back (22 June-24 June) I attended a seminar. You know one of those boring long lecture’s where you go and sit, make yourself comfortable and then the lecturer enters the room, mounts the podium and mumbles away for hours while making random motions towards the projector screen spread out behind him. I’m sure most university students are familiar with the scenario, despite often using that very time to catch up on their sleep-Yes university has taught me to sleep with my eyes open! Except THIS seminar was not boring. It was a completely unique experience which left me in awe of the speaker and his intelligence.

The seminar took place at the Grange Hotels  in London and stretched over the complete weekend, starting from 10 a.m. till around 7.30 p.m. in the evening. The event was extremely well organised, well-coordinated and pre-planned to the utmost detail.

Each individual was given a pen,purple wrist band,note pad and booklet containing all the main pointers and power point slides! Not bad eh?! :D

Each individual was given a pen,purple wrist band,note pad and booklet containing all the main pointers and power point slides! Not bad eh?! 😀

The speaker was a very intelligent young Egyptian man by the name of Dr. Reda Bedeir. He spoke for an hour at a time, after which there was a ten minute interval. The “coffee and bathroom break” as I called it. (I must confess I drank so much coffee, that by the end of the day I had lost track of how much caffeine I had consumed-but Hey, who says no to freebies right? Okay now I’m grinning guiltily)

The hall in which the seminar was held and my pretty purple wrist band for the event!

The hall in which the seminar was held and my pretty purple wrist band for the event!

Freebies aside, what inspired and left me completely enthused was the beautiful speech delivered by Dr.Reda Bedeir over the three days. This has made me realise how important it is to focus on the bigger picture and to live each moment with the very thought that it may surely be my last.

My memory isn’t exactly as sharp as I would like it to be, and despite making notes throughout the seminar, I may have missed out quite a large chunk of it. However, I will share all I learnt from this man, in a summarised list below, in the very hopes that someone out there will be motivated to take what life offers and give it their best shot. So here goes:

  • God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. I found this point rather amusing. These days’ people are not only denying their true origins but have also completely drifted from the true balance of life. The way he explained this was not only cleverly put together but also had a hint of humour encompassed in it, and was a great way of captivating the audience’s attention.
  • Outer appearance is important but the most crucial of all is the beautification of the heart. In today’s world people concentrate so much on their outward looks, the embellishment of their clothing and other such petty matters that they forget what really counts. A beautiful character and a pure heart is what really beautifies a person. In contrast looking well maintained and smart is also imperative but a balance between the two is what really matters.
  • Man has been given free will. And for those people who believe in destiny and the fact that all is pre-written cannot use this as an excuse to do whatever the hell they please. Some people use destiny as an excuse. They argue that since man’s destiny is already written, they have no say in what crimes they commit or whatever wrong action they perform since it is their fate. However Dr.Reda helped us understand this through a practical example: We were asked to stand up and slap the person next to us. Now this was the point where we could choose to slap the person or not, it was our OWN decision. God didn’t come down and force us to slap the person standing beside us. This very example helps negate the view that man has been programmed to function according to a set plan. In fact the very opposite of this is true, we are all free to do as we please, and are each accountable for our own actions.
  • The concept of what a real man should be like has been distorted to the point that people can no longer differentiate between what’s essential, looks or character. Today people believe that a stud with huge biceps, a booming voice and commanding and controlling nature is what an ideal man should be. That Hollywood image of the well sculpted hunk, with a perfectly toned hairless body is not what a true man is. Understanding this very point is important. A man is defined by the way he behaves, his nature, life goals, attitude and most importantly the very way in which he treats his family and the respect he shows them. Looks are important too, I agree. But only to a certain limit. They shouldn’t take precedence over character because anyone could tone their body to a great shape but also remember that with time that empty shell will soon grow old but that pure heart and love will only grow stronger. A real man acts the same way behind closed doors as he does in front of people and doesn’t need a pocket full of cash and a pretty girl on each arm to feel complete.
  • Our life will be over in a matter of minutes, in a single blink of an eye. If you close your eyes and try to picture your complete life until now, be it twenty, thirty, forty, fifty even sixty or seventy years, the longest it will take you to back track and preview all your life’s events will be around 70 to 80 seconds, give or take a few. That’s exactly how miniscule our life is. That’s why it’s so important to not only focus on what counts but to try to do as much good as possible and make that difference be it as tiny as cheering someone up (or so I tell myself).
  • Our heart is capable of loving, it is divided into a number of compartments which filter out and love each individual element up to a certain degree and in the order we place them. The order of our love is a key issue. Be it the love of God, his prophets, your Holy book, your parents, your spouse, your children, your wealth, your homes, your relatives, your job, or your car. All things should be in perspective and in the right order. For example loving your job more than your spouse will only bring disharmony in the relationship. Hence getting those priorities set in the right order is crucial.
  • Last but not least, the root of all evil in this world starts off with DENIAL. Be it denial of good, denial of doing the right thing, denial of the truth etc.Denial is that very action, that very word which can make or break everything that counts and realising that will help us through all that awaits us be it good or bad.