Defeated

Sunset-Photography

Crushed, defeated, overwhelmed, and overcome by feelings too deeply rooted and an attachment so intertwined within her she finally gave up.

To her it seemed that with each passing moment her care for him grew and blossomed like the flowers in spring. It seemed that being apart and blocking him out, cutting him off completely had not been the solution. She knew now, because she had tried it and failed.

The hesitation inside grew and spread around her. That uncertainty and confusion clouded her mind and filled her eyes with tears. The feeling of not knowing how life had played him, was too strong to let go of and fashioned her year into one of constant pain and misery. It thudded along with every beat of her heart settling at the deepest pit inside of her chaining her captive once and for all..

nadia nawaz

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Confined

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From the moment the words left his lips, she began to doubt him. With every fragment of her being and from the very core of her existence, she refused to believe that what he said could be real. But no matter how much she tried, she could not escape the unmistakable reflection of truth in his eyes.

His words all but brushed over her but the intense pull of his eyes continued to hold her captive.

They portrayed the essence of his feelings; the agony, the love, the yearning, the fear and above all his utter faith and trust in her.  They were the very mirrors to his soul.

Like magnets they pulled her towards them, unyielding and unwilling to let go. She saw a reflection of herself in their very midst, mockingly daring her to look away. With each second that ticked by she felt herself drawn in by his powerful gaze and somewhere deep down she finally acknowledged her helplessness…

nadia nawaz

Faraway lands, a secret paradise

Street kid in Kabul-Afghanistan © David Belluz

“Somehow, even in the worst of times, the tiniest fragments of good survive. It was the grip in which one held those fragments that counted.” ― Melina Marchetta
(Street kid in Kabul-Afghanistan) © David Belluz

Sitting in the corner of the market, on a dirty abandoned street once so full of life she closed her eyes. She had been walking for many days now, passing by ruins and dilapidated houses always in shambles, mostly unoccupied. Her journey had been long and arduous  with no destination in sight. All she saw were reminders of the atrocities committed by other men. Men who claimed to come bearing the name of peace. The reminders were painful, bringing with them memories she had long before tried to forget. They clung to her like a disease, growing in weight as the days slowly dragged on.

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Daring to dream

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How she longed with every fragment of her tiny being, to be beyond the hopelessness and confusion of her down-trodden life, the misery and scorn of unfulfilled dreams and the hurt and loss of failure.

Her secret refuge  was where she found peace, a place where her mind took her and allowed her to glimpse a timeless paradise hidden behind a secluded doorway if only but for a moment. Where the joy and happiness which filled her heart would not come crashing down without a moment’s warning. Where pain and longing were feelings unheard of.

A place where her life was beyond the wickedness and evil which war brought with it. A sanctuary, where one could dare to dream and hope filled the air with its dazzling presence. Where young love was not  scorned and passion was allowed to run its due course. Where a mind and heart would not bleed away with the burden of all the pain chained up inside. Where the innocence of children would not be tainted by hideous sights of death and destruction. Where eyes would no longer weep for loss and pain but sparkle with merriment and wonder. Where each moment would be worth living and every creature would be thankful, brimming with contentment at last.A place where only dreams could come true!

nadia nawaz

The overwhelming darkness

Solitude-600x450He was a man of few words yet the very few he did speak portrayed a multitude of various sides, giving him a raw and mysterious aura.On the exterior he looked younger than his years with a boyish smile, dusky brown hair and greenish gold eyes which held within them bottomless depths. They lit up and sparkled whenever he smiled inducing a similar sense of joy and delight into the person gazing into them. Continue reading

A journey-the circle of life

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Compacted into the hollow tube, complete strangers stand as close to one another as two lovers huddled together, while walking down a darkened deserted street on a stormy night.
The sound of human voices is muffled by the rush of air whipping against the outside walls of the metallic shell of the train.

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As she lay dreaming

“Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.” -Leonardo Da Vinci

“Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.” -Leonardo Da Vinci

As she sat with her seatbelt tightly wrapped around her tiny waist and her feet firmly touching the interior carpeted floor, the engines began to hum.  With each breath she took, the sound became louder and louder until soon it became a deeply disturbing noise like that of a cow regurgitating. The wheels began to spin and the plane slowly but surely edged forward. Further and further it crept, like a new-born bird learning to fly; slowly and carefully it gathered speed and charged like an angry bull in a ring and with one last heavy sigh, it extended its wings completely and lifted itself up and off the ground, into the mid-morning sky.

Up it went, graceful like an eagle-fully aware and confident within its abilities. The windows rattled with the increasing wind pressure and she closed her eyes as she felt her stomach churn. She concentrated on random thoughts trying to keep her mind off the familiar tickling sensation in the pit of her stomach, willing herself not to throw up. As the plane reached its suitable height, it slowed down and settled into a regular pace of flight. By this time, the roar of the engine had become a familiar rumble and adjusting herself within her seat she slowly opened her eyes and took a deep breath.

She undid her seat belt and leaned forward in her chair. Looking out of the window she saw the clouds surrounding the tip of the wing. Fluffy and soft, they appeared like layers upon layers of cotton wool.  What lay beneath her was a wide expanse of blue. The ocean in all its might shimmered as the sun beams reflected off the water’s surface creating a mirage of sparkling crystals. A brilliant blue with a layer of golden glitter, it appeared mesmerizing from so high up. As she watched between the parted layers of clouds, a never-ending span of waves crashed over each other destroying the ones before but recreating new ones within the same instant.

Out onto the horizon her eyes followed the stretch of sea and she smiled to herself. Caught within the beauty of this moment she felt light as a feather, drifting through time and space. Her worries far behind her, swept away long before take-off. Her eyes shimmered with the intensity of her thoughts and she felt like a bird, soaring through the sky completely alone. An epic moment beyond the grasp of her rationality, she felt so free, for this was only the beginning of her adventure and the dreams she was in pursuit of…

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Nadia Nawaz