Bouts of insomnia gripped her once again. It seemed like they had returned with a vengeance. Sleeplessness dominated her nights. She lay awake and watched the minutes tick by. She longed once more for that blanket of blissful drowsiness that had no so long ago promised to continue taking her away to a land full of dreams.
Confused, dishevelled and entangled so badly were the various images in her mind that her nights and days seemed like a haze. A mesh of a million thoughts, words and emotions all interwoven somehow, causing her to ride through the storm and hold on tightly as the tide carried her through the crashing waves so intent on breaking her resolve. Continue reading
They say it’s a part of human nature, to always wonder about what could have been. To obsess over moments long past, and to never be satisfied with what is.
Each and every one of us craves that which we can’t have.
We tend to go over and re-construct past encounters in ways which satisfy and please us,often at times opposite to how the incident unfolded in the first place. That little voice inside our heads never ceases to quieten. Its relentless questions, and continuous re-playing of conversations forces us back into times which we no longer remember as they once were, often a result of all those emotions welling up inside us which tend to overcome the original memory. All rational thoughts are pushed aside as we sink deeper and deeper into the past, going through each recollection and wishing how things could have somehow been different.
Along with the memories comes the guilt and self-blame. We blame ourselves for not having enough for-sight about the matter, about not handling the situation well enough. Or maybe even being a bit too harsh. Add to that a never-ending terrain of questions and that’s when the doubt settles in.
With doubt comes dissatisfaction.How many of us have often spent sleepless nights obsessing over a moment long gone yet wondering how it would have been, had it somehow worked out differently.At the same time knowing with certainty that things always happen for the best.
Making peace with the past is often the hardest, yet best methods to gain contentment. It is a battle which is tough,nevertheless necessary, and once won can help bring about that inner peace each and every one of us lacks, yet craves so desperately…