Daring to dream

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How she longed with every fragment of her tiny being, to be beyond the hopelessness and confusion of her down-trodden life, the misery and scorn of unfulfilled dreams and the hurt and loss of failure.

Her secret refuge  was where she found peace, a place where her mind took her and allowed her to glimpse a timeless paradise hidden behind a secluded doorway if only but for a moment. Where the joy and happiness which filled her heart would not come crashing down without a moment’s warning. Where pain and longing were feelings unheard of.

A place where her life was beyond the wickedness and evil which war brought with it. A sanctuary, where one could dare to dream and hope filled the air with its dazzling presence. Where young love was not  scorned and passion was allowed to run its due course. Where a mind and heart would not bleed away with the burden of all the pain chained up inside. Where the innocence of children would not be tainted by hideous sights of death and destruction. Where eyes would no longer weep for loss and pain but sparkle with merriment and wonder. Where each moment would be worth living and every creature would be thankful, brimming with contentment at last.A place where only dreams could come true!

nadia nawaz

2012- Overview. This one’s for you, yes you; the one reading this title right now!

I sit at a university computer amidst a row of dusty workstations, discarded wrappers,crisp crumbs and empty energy drink cans left over from the bunch of students working late into the night.It is yet too early for the cleaning crew to make their daily round or for the surrounding computers to be occupied. Soon the place will be abuzz with conversation, excited chatter about the up coming holidays and agitated students rushing through last-minute submissions. The university library has become somewhat of a second home, forever open; 24/7 to the ever seeking. Today I try not to cringe at the sheer laziness of how someone could refuse to pick up after themselves especially when the trash-can happens to be a foot length away. My mind is preoccupied with wandering  thoughts as my eyes witness the beauty surrounding me, separated only by a wall of glass.

Pure Bliss!

Pure Bliss!

For once the sun seems to shinning, but I have learnt that is merely an illusion. For if you were to stand outside, the icy winds would cut right through you, chilling you to the bone. Today the water is neither calm nor aggressive. The waves seem to be moving in gentle ripples, carried by the wind. The sun streams in through the clear glass windows lining the wall from floor to ceiling. As I sit and watch, a plane slowly makes its decent, its wheels slowly turning, moving to a  rhythm as it begins to glide down like a bird, so elegant and mesmerizing.

The moment of joy when you click the button and get the perfect shot!!

The moment of joy when you click the button and get the perfect shot!!

Today happens to be the last day of this year’s semester A. Two more exams stand in the way of moving on to the next semester. When I first began it seemed such a long long way to go, yet now time seems to be moving more like the river I sit overlooking.Fluid and fast paced, its passing by in a whirl. 2012 has almost come to an end and so has my cycle of fast paced madness.

The rapidity with which this year has passed never fails to stun me. It seems as though it were only yesterday that I was standing glued to my television screen watching the fireworks erupt over the London eye at 12 a.m. Too warm and comfortable at home to brave the cold, rush and traffic in an attempt to be at the actual monument.(Truth be told,if I remember correctly, my dad was under the weather and my mother just refused to drive us all the way there).

Nevertheless  here I am, a year later feeling pretty much cheated over by time and its cleverness, barely struggling to keep up with my ticking clock.

Looking over the year, all I see is a flashback of events. So monotonous and similar. Naturally I’ve had my fair share of shitty terrible days which I would rather not think about any more than I have to.  Having said that, what I cannot deny is the number of opportunities which have come my way, the people I have met and the laughter I have shared with them.

Along with this, I have also learnt a lot about myself, my capabilities and how blessed I truly am. I understand that not everyone is lucky enough to have a knack for writing and expressing their thoughts and emotions through their words. What’s funny is how I’ve learnt more about accounting, shareholders, stock exchanges, film industries and fashion-through helping friends in their course work-than I ever cared to know.I have never felt more humbled than when acquaintances and friends have considered me skilful enough to  ask me for help with their final year dissertations. (Being a junior, and in a year below them, this really meant a lot). The appreciation people have shown thereafter is the best reward I can dream of getting.

I have decided to end this year on a good note, focusing on all the positives and trying my hardest to be as optimistic as I can. I conclude this, hoping and praying that the coming year will be a form of happiness, and a source of inspiration for us all out there, hoping to achieve something worthy in life.

Note: A big thank you and lots of love to anyone who ever makes the effort to read these posts. Getting a comment is like unwrapping a surprise present. Meaningful criticism and counter arguments are always embraced with pleasure. I love the thought of someone challenging me with their own thoughts and views.It’s one of the best parts of writing! 

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A reason to smile

At the end of a busy week, through the rush of last-minute submissions and terrible presentations, the last thing I expected was an award. But hey, seems like God gave me a reason to smile and I was presented with the “Liebster Award” by Andy at OUR LIFE IN 3D

Having no idea what the word meant, I checked out his blog post. Turns out it’s a German word meaning ‘dearest’ and this award is presented to fairly new bloggers.

Thank you once again Andy. I’ve barely had time to keep my head attached to my neck let alone write any new posts. Receiving this made me grin from ear to ear- Literally!

Winning any kind of blogging award requires you to participate in a game. This requires you to complete a challenge. The requirements of the challenge are usually decided by the type of award, or the blogger presenting it.

So the rules of this game are as follows:

I must write two things about myself that are true and one thing that is false and then you (the readers) have to guess which one is false. You ready? Play along just to keep me happy.

So here goes:

a)      I was asked for an ID check to watch a “15 plus and over” movie at the cinema, on my twentieth birthday!

b)      I eat tomato ketchup with my rice.

c)       I was so lost in thought while taking a shower the other day that I put shower-gel on my hair instead of shampoo and then took five whole minutes to check the expiry date at the back of the bottle all the while vigorously rubbing my hair and wondering why it wasn’t foaming up properly.

Which one of these do you think is false?  Leave your reply in the comment section below and I’ll get back to you with the right answer. Happy guessing!

 

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK-there go the last few hours on my teenage clock!!

So it’s the 14thof June today and the countdown has already begun. In approximately 67 days or 1608 hours, 96480 minutes and 5788800 seconds I will no longer be a teenager! The first word that comes to my mind is “Already?!”

My teenage life has passed by in what seems like a blur; the two years right after my 18th birthday have flashed past with such haste that I have no idea where the time went. The annoying part is this:

You just get used to being 18, when all of a sudden you’re no longer 18…but since you’re so used to telling people you’re 18, you no longer remember you’re now 19 when asked your age! And when you FINALLY get used to being 19, along comes the next big milestone! (And trust me, for most of you turning 20 was a huge milestone even if you no longer admit it!) And BAM! The clock strikes twelve a.m. and your 20th year begins. So much for sentimentality.

The fact is that time no longer holds that same value it once did, months melt into days without a trace and just like that the year is over before we even know it.

Just under two decades of my insignificant life will be over within weeks and I can wave goodbye to those pesky teenage years which make us all think the world revolves around our very existence. (No excuse for being so big-headed anymore-sigh!)  I will no longer be a part of that ‘class of youngsters’ who have the word teen wedged at the end of their age. It is at this point in time that you begin to realize your time is running out, in another two decades you turn 40 and then it’s all downhill from there.

We’ve all had those moments (myself included), some of which we wish we could re-live, others completely erase and others still just re-do a different way. But focussing too much on the past and how things should have been done will only bring you down.

Despite my continued efforts of not making this little blog post into a sob story, I still seem to be failing miserably. I can almost see you nodding your head in agreement now while the somewhat older readers will soon start wondering why I’m making such a huge issue over turning 20.But plainly speaking; my rapidly approaching 20thbirthday has succeeded in scaring the shit out of me.

Tick-Tock goes my clock

Tick-Tock goes my clock

Despite all that, my sensible side has kicked in today. So instead of feeling sorry for myself I have decided to analyse myself and make a list. YES A LIST.  Regardless of having made a number of them over the years and never ever EVER sticking to them I have still decided to give it one last go.

So here are some of the things I have decided to focus more on which will hopefully make my 20th year somewhat of an achievement.

BE IMPULSIVE:

I have decided it’s time I started taking a few more risks in my life. Everyone always says that these years are crucial. It’s the time when you should stick to your guts, follow your heart and go that extra mile. So why not break away from those little boundaries you bind yourself to by your own choice and take a chance?

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS:  

Never be afraid to dream, and when you do dream, dream BIG! Nevertheless there’s no point having a whole load of dreams stuck up in your head. Once formed a dream must be pursued until its achieved.

This always brings that song by Uncle Kracker to mind-“Livin’ the dream”. It’s been one of favourites ever since I heard it and it goes like this:

“Here I go again on my own, going down the only road I’ve ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone and I’ll keep livin’ my life livin’ the dream on my own. And I’ve made up my mind; I ain’t wasting no more time…”

BE HAPPY-SMILE:

Now I’m not one of those people who go around with a permanent scowl on their faces but I’m not exactly much of a ‘smiler’ either.  It’s just something I’d like to do more of. After all, I always tell myself I’ll have the right to be a grumpy old cow later down the line anyway-that’s justified. The simple fact that we are alive, well and cared for should be celebrated with at least a smile a day if not more!

SET YOUR GOALS-Make Another List:

I’m starting to like this list making business again. Despite not being able to stick to them, it’s quite comforting having an outline of what you wish to achieve even if it’s just something you keep in your own head. Now I have decided that there are a number of other things I also want to do such as learning to ride a motorbike and then saving up to buy a sports bike,

One day this baby will be all MINE! =D

One day this baby will be all MINE! =D

go scuba diving and bungee jumping and other ordinary stuff like that 😀

But fantasies aside the first thing on the agenda is completing my university degree. Oh and by the way, I’m still technically a teenager for the next couple of months-Oh the joy!