To living..

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People come and go and giving up and letting them be is something she never saw herself doing.
She was always one to hold on to that tiny particle of hope no matter how small..
All that had changed for her. She began to see the more that life had to offer and the amount of wasted time she was spending hoping for something or someone who was so unwilling to give anything back.
And so she finally made a decision, a resolve to let it all be. She had finally stopped trying, stopped wishing and stopped making the effort she was so used. And she realised she had never felt more alive..

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nadia nawaz

Towards the end

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The morning suns rays filter through the blinds creating little circles of light on the bedroom floor. Somewhere in the room a person stirs, yawning away the last signs of sleepiness ready to face the new day. The sun  envelops the room in a golden glow, promising a comforting warmth. Like many things in life it is but a mere deception in the sky artfully concealing the cold winds which rage on around it. To the insider, warm and secure within their home the cold is merely another glitch in the weather,duly noted upon leaving the house.

A couple of thousand miles away, across the ocean a new dawn creeps through. Desolation and misery haunt the place and despite the clear skies, moans and whispers of grief choke the surroundings. War and terror are just the norm around here,tearing apart families and wrecking havoc. The same new day here, brings with it more reminders of the pain left to endure until night fall. Planning a future is a story of the past.

The contrast is striking between the two countries yet the seconds that tick by are identical. They share the same skies, the same moon, the same sun. Yet they live and die worlds apart from one another somehow all nearing the same end through different means..

nadia nawaz

The waiting game

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It was a waiting game. A game played by a confused soul wandering aimlessly aloof, adrift the craziness surrounding it somehow taking all in stride.
On the surface it portrayed an aura of listlessness. Nothing showed save that plain facade, upholding a constant level of normalcy expected from all.
Numbness was etched into every crevice of a face so enchanting and eyes so confrontational, just daring you to hold them for a minute too long.
The game was life, and he was a player, as were all the others. The destination was final. What set them apart was how they each chose to get there..

nadia nawaz

Endless summer nights

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In the dead silent of the night, her recollections created a web of frayed images inside her head and words poured out of her effortlessly. The stillness and loneliness of the darkness engulfed her within its vastness, wrapping itself around her in a mercilessly tight grip.

Her thoughts soared and receded unwilling to settle at a comfortable hum inside her head. Her mind clouded over and she felt himself drown, lost within the suffocating sweetness of the moment. Throughout it all one steady noise reverberated across her ears. The thud of her agitated heart as it continued to steadily beat to its own rhythm never once failing her.

Nadia Nawaz

Dear Diary…

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As of today, two years, 2 months and 11 days…

There was a time when feelings floated along the surface, fading as quickly as the rain clouds vanished after a storm. Never lasting more than a few moments in time. Emotions were never so deeply embedded. Seconds were never given their due importance and time just swept along, mindlessly spent as the days drew to a close.

Over the years all that has changed as drastically as the seasons come and go. Memories are now so preciously stored, and life which once so precariously balanced on the edge is savoured and cherished.
Distance has taught the hardest lesson of all. Fondness for those who are absent has increased so out of proportion that words are often insufficient to explain the explosion of feelings experienced.
The value of people and the difference they make in your life, the way a person touches you from the inside making them so impossibly hard to let go of, and the very fragility of life are all emotions so anew and foreign.

But perhaps the hardest lesson of all is that of attachment. Of how an attachment can break you down, confuse you beyond belief and suck the very life out of you when mishandled. How the obsessive thoughts of one person or people can render you incompetent. How your heart can become plagued by them, causing a deep-rooted dissatisfaction.
Above all, how dangerous an attachment can be. How hard it becomes to rid yourself of it and begin life all over.. For nothing can cause pain, like that of giving up a part of yourself you wanted to keep as yours alone forever.. but can undoubtedly never have.

nadia nawaz

Faraway lands, a secret paradise

Street kid in Kabul-Afghanistan © David Belluz

“Somehow, even in the worst of times, the tiniest fragments of good survive. It was the grip in which one held those fragments that counted.” ― Melina Marchetta
(Street kid in Kabul-Afghanistan) © David Belluz

Sitting in the corner of the market, on a dirty abandoned street once so full of life she closed her eyes. She had been walking for many days now, passing by ruins and dilapidated houses always in shambles, mostly unoccupied. Her journey had been long and arduous  with no destination in sight. All she saw were reminders of the atrocities committed by other men. Men who claimed to come bearing the name of peace. The reminders were painful, bringing with them memories she had long before tried to forget. They clung to her like a disease, growing in weight as the days slowly dragged on.

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